I think ‘middle age’ is when you don’t even try to tear open the cereal bag, but go straight for the scissors. And you know exactly where they are.
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Chihuahua of the Baskervilles is the first in my new mystery series, which features the staff of Tripping, a low-budget travel magazine that covers destinations of paranormal interest.
In Chihuahua of the Baskervilles, Tripping hears about a ghostly Chihuahua seen by Charlotte Baskerville. Charlotte is the rich founder of Petey’s Closet, a clothing catalog for small dogs. Editor Angus MacGregor, photographer Suki Oota, and writer Michael Abernathy travel to Manitou Springs, where the ghost howls advice and spells out threats in tiny paw prints. Is the glowing apparition really Petey’s ghost, or is someone in Charlotte’s household trying to teach a dead dog new tricks – like murder? It’s up to Tripping Magazine to save Charlotte Baskerville, preferably without losing their story.
(Read Chapter 1. Read reviews.)
Each book is set in an actual, tourist-oriented town, and I try to feature fun events that you can attend. For example, the first book takes place in Manitou Springs, Colorado, during the Emma Crawford Memorial Coffin Race.
Portrait of Doreene Gray is the second book, set in Port Townsend, Washington. Look for it in July of 2012. You can read a description and the first two chapters here.
The “When Will Josie Climb the Stairs” pool. No fee, win stuff.
Josie, my Chihuahua puppy, is bound to try to climb the stairs to the second floor at some point. I’m offering a free advance review copy of The Portrait of Doreene Gray to the person who guesses closest to the date/time she does. It’s just like sports betting, only cuter and fluffier! (Also, no one named “Brass-knuckle Chuck” will come to your house and beat you up if you lose.)
Here are the stats.
- Josie weighed two pounds, two ounces as of yesterday, January 26.
- She is three months old.
- Two days ago, she put her front paws on the bottom stair and looked up. That’s all she’s done.
- There were no stairs in her previous house.
- She has had one instance of being timid with a shallow outside step.
- Each stair riser is 7.5 inches tall. There are 14 stairs.
- Josie’s legs are 4 inches long.
- The cat hangs out upstairs.
- So does Angel Joe, and Josie LOVES Angel Joe.
- We are not encouraging her to climb the stairs. That’s the cat’s safe space, and it’s also carpeted up there, and Josie isn’t fully housebroken.
You can leave your guess as a comment here or on Facebook. Once you pick your date/time, you can’t change it. There will be two prizes:
An ARC (advance review copy) of The Portrait of Doreene Gray goes to the person who guesses when Josie will climb all the way to the stop of the stairs.
Some glow-in-the-dark Chihuahua Soap goes to the person who guesses when Josie climbs at least two stairs, but doesn’t get all the way to the top.
If I were guessing, I personally wouldn’t guess within a week and a half of now, but this is my first puppy. You long-time Chi owners may know better.
—————————————
Denise Fain Bast, FB, Feb 14, 10:30 am (Thank you for getting the ball rolling!)
Shirley Blanks-Pettis, FB, Feb 3, noon
Fawn Frazer, FB, Feb 10, 10:00 am
Bloomers Chihuahuas, FB, Feb 17, 5:00 pm
Marsha Graves-Realtor, FB, Feb 29 , 8:00 am
Dorothy MacKay-Holmberg, (here), Jan. 29, (time?) Note: I applaud Dorothy’s faith in Josie. It was clever of her to guess the tail-end of this weekend, because Josie is out of her pen more on Sat & Sun than on weekdays.
Nikki of Obsessive Chihuahua Disorder, Jan 31, 10:00 am.
Theresa Edkins Danley, FB, Feb. 9, 11:00 am
Debra Cochran, Feb 23, 6:30 pm
Dianne Lynn Stebens, FB, “never”
The number one requirement of a book title
Yesterday I spent at least an hour on the phone with my parents, working on a replacement title for what used to be called Telling Lies, a book I’m going to self-publish real soon now. This book has had that title for probably 7 years, but in the middle of last year, someone came out with a mystery of the same name. I was about to say, “Eh, screw it,” and use that title anyway (they’re not copyrightable) when I got an email from the author (whom I’ve never met) asking me to nominate her book for an Agatha. It was just too much, you know? The hunt was on.
What makes a good book title?
It makes people buy the book. That is the number one requirement of a book title. Do not get this aspect confused with how well a title fits a book after it’s read. I don’t care how much someone appreciates your clever wordplay when they’re done with the book. “See, not only was she telling lies, but the lies she told were telling – about her!” Great, but remember, the book is already paid for at that point. P.S. My dad says that if a title really doesn’t fit a book, he might find that annoying enough to shun a second book by the author, even if he really enjoyed her writing. But Daddy fits no one’s idea of the average person, so let’s move on.
How does a title sell a book?
1) The title has tension, asks a question the reader wants answered, or piques the reader’s interest so much that he buys the book. Everyone knows that telling lies is bad, but it’s also sometimes necessary. One word can convey tension, which is why there are about a million romances with reckless in them. If you don’t mind a long title, you can create a whole scenario with tension. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Sometimes tension comes from words that seem to war with each other. The Accidental Tourist. How is that possible? (Oh, look, it asks a question, too.) Try piquing their interest: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. WTF?
2) The title tells the reader the tone of the book. This works particularly well with books of a specific flavor, especially one that isn’t widely available but has hardcore fans. Southern lit used to be rare enough that putting Sweet Potato Queens in the title was enough to make the right reader snatch it off the shelf. I don’t know if that’s the case anymore. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Speculative fic readers LOVE that title, and for good reason. It’s frickin’ brilliant on so many levels. (In case you don’t know, that book became Bladerunner.) How ’bout The Da Vinci Code? Sounds kind of like an art-themed thriller, doesn’t it? (Btw, Da Vinci Code would also make a great self-help book title, a la The Seven Habits of Highly Lengthy Titles.)
3) No one else has used the title, at least not recently, or famously, or in a book that’s really similar. Yes, Telling Lies was a great title. I’m trying to get over it, okay?
Let’s talk about stuff to avoid.
1) Clichés. My book deals with a reluctant Tarot reader, so all kinds of card-related sayings suggested themselves. Wild Card. Full Deck. In the Cards. Meh. Clichés pass through the mind with barely a trace. You want a title that rattles around in the ear canal like a moth with fangs.
2) Insulting potential readers. We briefly considered Mystic Lies, then realized that title would piss off every Tarot reader out there, and they might be expected to buy the book because there isn’t much fiction with Tarot in it. (Note to Tarot readers: This book is not anti-Tarot. You can safely buy it.)
3) Titles that make no damn sense. There may have been books with nonsensical titles that made it big, but I’m pretty sure they became famous because they had a publicity machine behind them. Case in point – I can’t remember any of them.
All right, so what title did we come up with? I’m not going to claim it’s great. I did use some card imagery, although I think I dodged the cliché bullet. I think it has tension. It works well with the cover art I picked, and also with the blurb. Here’s my very preliminary mock-up of the cover. Because it requires some photo manipulation (putting the card in the model’s hand), Angel Joe is going to clean it up this weekend. It will change in other ways.
And here’s the blurb.
LeeLee Moldovar’s mother is dead, leaving her debts, her angry Chihuahua, and her abandoned Tarot clients. After losing her job, LeeLee decides to read Tarot for a living. Her first client is a very attractive man, and there’s definite chemistry. The cards say Adrian should dump his newest girlfriend – or is that what LeeLee wants? It’s only after Adrian leaves that LeeLee discovers he’s dating her best friend. When the next client arrives, she’s afraid to say anything and risk another Tarot disaster. But something inside LeeLee speaks out, giving advice she doesn’t anticipate and can’t control. To silence this unwanted voice and regain her sanity, LeeLee must discover her true self, despite attractive men, best friends, and the specter of her mother’s loving wishes for her.
Oh, look, I’ve already changed the cover.
Comments? Suggestions? Lay ‘em on me.
A new sweater for Josie O and an upcoming book on Kindle
I’ve been taking Josie O outside, just on the porch and the grassy area immediately beyond. Our house doesn’t front on the street, so I figure this is safe. She hasn’t been through her entire vaccination cycle, so that’s as much as I dare risk, to minimize the chances of her getting diseases from other dogs.
Being outside distracts her from the fact that she’s wearing a harness and leash, and she’s getting used to them pretty quickly, but it’s cold outside, and she starts shivering within about a minute. I’ve been looking for a sweater small enough to fit her, and Petco came through for me yesterday. Yes, the brand name is Smoochie Pooch. If you can’t embrace the cute, don’t get a Chihuahua.
(Put your cursor on the pix to get mouseover captions.)
In other news, Telling Lies, the book I’m going to self-publish, came through its reading with the psychologist with flying colors. (It has a therapist in it, and I wanted to check for realism.) She was very complimentary, although I don’t have permission to quote her yet, so you’ll have to take my word for it. This story also includes a Chihuahua, although the poor thing has some problems. Don’t worry – happy ending, happy ending.
So the next three things on my agenda are:
1) learn to format the book for Kindle and start that process,
2) compose back-cover copy, including a descriptive blurb,
3) decide whether I want to use the cover I made with clip art, which is acceptable, or hire a graphic artist to spiff it up (especially in the title font area) or even start from scratch.
Second night with Josie O
Josie woke me up with some squeaking a couple minutes earlier than yesterday – 5:39. I waited until she was quiet, then got up and checked her. Last night, per Nancy’s (her breeder’s) instructions, I made her a sleepshirt out of one of Joe’s orphan socks, and I slept downstairs a second time to make sure she didn’t get tangled in it. She had gotten her arms out and it was around her middle, which is fine. I took it off her, reheated her seed pad, put her back in her pen, and went back to my bed on the couch. She whined for maybe three minutes and then was quiet. I went back to sleep.
Woke up again at 7:22. Joe was stirring upstairs. Josie was totally quiet. I took her out of her pen and got back in bed and snuggled with her for a little, as a reward. Then we played fetch, at which she’s very good.
Nancy instructed me yesterday to use the washable potty pad she’d given me. She said that even thought it was laundered and bleached, it would still have some scent (wow). I had been using disposable pads that were scented with attractant, and Josie didn’t seem to get it. Well, Josie peed twice and pooped, all on the pad. Hallelujah. I’m sure she’ll still have accidents, but I’m still mightily impressed. I praised her to the skies, of course.
She followed me around as I got my breakfast, and I sat on the floor and ate while she played. She also licked my feet, which is like the tiniest foot massage imaginable. I won’t be stopping that behavior anytime soon.
I made a couple of mistakes. First, I got impatient with Musette when she wouldn’t come downstairs after our morning affection time. So I carried her, and got raked on the chest for my troubles. Normally she would never do that, even if she struggled, but all bets are off right now. The other thing was, Josie and I were wandering around downstairs when Musette came back in, and I didn’t pick Josie up. The temptation to see what would happen was so strong (hangs head). Josie saw Musette and gave a surprised little bark, which made Musette trot around the closet area out of sight. That part was fine, but about a minute later Josie went to investigate, and Musette ran. I’m not supposed to let that happen. On the other hand, Josie didn’t really follow her. When I went upstairs later, Musette was super affectionate, like maybe she was saying, “It’s not as bad as I thought!” Later, I got her to come downstairs and past Josie in her pen with a trail of treats down the stairs. Josie didn’t bark, and Musette didn’t run.
I won’t sleep downstairs tonight, although I may get up earlier than usual. Musette will get her regular affection time first thing, and then I’ll go down and eat breakfast and play with Josie. Playing will stimulate her to go to the bathroom and also tire her out. Then I’ll put her in her pen with a chewy and come upstairs to work (she’ll probably nap). That will give me time to hang out with Musette, unless she’s outside, which she is now.
And here I thought having a puppy was going to be hard. It helps that she’s a toy breed, and you can wear her out just by throwing stuff around the living room.
Tomorrow she gets her new-puppy visit at the vet.
Josie’s first night.
For those of you not on Facebook, this my be the first you’ve heard that I got a Chihuahua puppy named Josie O (the O is for Outstanding). After trying to find an adult, adoptable Chihuahua that would get along with cats, I gave up and got a puppy, figuring that might work better.
We brought Josie home in the car yesterday.
Josie in her doggy car seat on the way to her new home.
She did great during the hour-long trip, whining for a while, then getting used to it and mostly sleeping. We had friends over in the evening. They all lost their minds over Josie’s extraordinary levels of cuteness. All puppies are cute. From the standpoint of prancing, fluffy adorableness, it’s hard to beat a Chi.
Josie did all her bodily functions quite well. She’s weird about her food. Doesn’t like to eat it out of the dish, but dodges in and gets a piece as if the smell is strong. If I throw it on the floor piece by piece, like a game, that works well. She loves her Greenies chew stick, though. Gotta get more of those.
I went to bed on the couch next to her pen. She whimpered for a little on her heated bed, so I got in the pen and put my hand next to her until she fell asleep – maybe a minute. I fully expected to be up and down all night long. When I did wake up, it wasn’t because I heard anything, but because it was morning. I checked my phone – 5:41 am. I looked in the pen. Josie was sitting up on her bed, awake but silent. I picked her up and she shivered a little, whether from excitement or cold I didn’t know, so I reheated her pad in the microwave. She pooped and peed, had a snack, and thus our day began.
I’m not going to count on the same easy night tonight, but who knows? Maybe I got lucky.
As for Musette, Josie barks and growls at her. She did it while backing up against me, so I think she’s scared of her. Something in that slinking feline motion probably says “predator” to her puppy hind brain. Something in Musette’s hind brain says that something that barks and growls is also a predator, and the upshot is that Musette is afraid of a creature that is one-fifth her size. I know…pathetic. Josie seems to be paying attention when I scold her for barking at Musette, or she’s getting used to her. Once that stops, I’m hoping Musette will stop running past Josie’s pen as though the hounds of a very miniature Hell are after her.
Birdee and Bella get a new book.
Birdee, Bella and Beasley are three Chihuahuas owned by Denise Fain Bast. I imagine it’s Denise who will be doing the actual reading, though I’ve heard from several Chi owners that their dogs really do love to listen. Beasley isn’t in the picture. According to Denise,
Beasley has a mind of her own! Bella & Birdee are very ‘treat-motivated’ but Beasley just assumes you are up to something if you try to bribe her… smart?!! … With Bella & Birdee I can get a ‘head-tilt’ by just asking, “Want a treat?” So much fun!
Happiness is a toy cockroach
Aside from the Kindle Fire, one of the most fun gifts in our family this year was the toy cockroach I gave my Mom. We lived in Florida when I was a kid, and I knew she’d appreciate its realism. (She said it gave her goosebumps all up the backs of her legs.)
We were at my parents’ house for Christmas, and I hoped their cat, Lily, would chase after it. But in the manner of most cats, she knew it wasn’t alive and ignored it entirely.
It was very realistic. I was once chased the length of our Florida kitchen by a palmetto bug flying at head height, so it was difficult to stand still when the toy first came buzzing toward me.
But by the end of the day, we became pretty inured to the ick factor.
Ew, Mom!
Dog Toys
Bebe, from Obsessive Chihuahua Disorder.
I asked Nikki, Bebe’s owner, how food-oriented Bebe is, on a scale from 1 to 10. She said, “Eleven.”
Rocky Mountain Puppy Rescue event
I did a search on Petfinder.com for Chihuahuas up for adoption in my area, and found two that looked promising, both from RMPR.
Gidget
and
Olivia
So I drove to the Northglenn Petsmart, where the adoption event was being held. There must have been 25, 30 people there. Amazing, because these dogs are not going for a song. That said, RMPR is clearly a first-class organization, and the members foster dogs until they are fine canine citizens. Still, I was surprised that many people are willing to pay extra for knowing a lot about a prospective pet. Here I thought the economy was bad. Not when it comes to furry friends.
The event was a well-oiled machine, even with that many people. You fill out paperwork (I had filled mine out in advance, then left it on the kitchen table). They have a fosterer interview you (usually the one who fostered the dog in which you have an interest), and then you have a timed visit with the dog in a pen. With some dogs they also require a visit to your home before they make a decision. Others were being taken home right then, to much cheering and applause. It was a little like winning a game show.
Olivia and Gidget were in the same pen. I looked down, Gidget looked back, and then she started barking like I had PISSED HER OFF. Maybe I should have broken eye contact to get her to stop, but I learned a long time ago not to break eye contact with pets – it’s a submissive gesture. While Gidget was barking up a storm, one of the volunteers explained that she doesn’t do that at home. Probably nervous aggression, or maybe she didn’t like my hair and was calling me a dirty hippie. Meanwhile, Olivia laid there, all mellow. When I leaned down to offer my hand, Olivia and Gidget both came over, but Gidget pushed Olivia out of the way a little and also kept barking. I marked Gidget off my list. Later I saw her with a man, having a grand old time and being perfectly adorable. Maybe she doesn’t like chicks.
They had a lot of people to process. While I waited, a very nice couple had their visit with Olivia. They cuddled up a storm with her and announced their intention of getting her if they could. Maybe they have small kids and will be disqualified, I thought. Maybe they live in a swamp. But I got better. If they’re good people for her, so be it.
I had my interview with Benedict, who was clearly a stellar dog fosterer and also had a fantastic ‘stache. Well done. Then I had my visit with Olivia. She was a darling, and that picture does NOT do her justice. I asked if she wanted to sit on my lap. She did. She also wanted to give me kisses and lick the inside of my nose (ah, Chihuahuas). I spoke softly in her ear, ruffled her neck fur, and told her what a good girl she was, and she rolled and offered me her belly to rub.
One of the volunteers came over and said that the woman who fostered Olivia had developed a special relationship with her, so any potential adopters needed to have their home checked out. But this volunteer thought we were a good match – such a good match that she was sad when she found out that other people wanted Olivia. I told her they clearly loved Olivia very much, and I’m not in a hurry. Olivia’s foster mom is gonna call me. I’m going to tell her that if the other couple doesn’t have any kids or pets, Olivia should go with them. If she has the chance to be someone’s only baby, or hang out with other Chihuahuas, then she should. She is clearly special, although you can argue that all dogs are.
RMPR will do a home visit with me anyway, so I’ll be set if the right dog comes along (and no one else wants it). They also don’t know how Olivia does with cats. There is a 7-day return policy, but you hate to put a dog through that.
It’s a difficult situation. I want a Chihuahua, but I don’t want Musette’s happiness to decrease. Ideally it would increase (she wants to be friends with other animals, if they want to be friends with her). Or they could ignore each other. That would be fine, too. She’s outside a lot of the time and there is plenty of love to go around. Anyway, I have connections in the Denver Chihuahua Meetup group now. They’ll probably find me some poor creature to foster that needs a person to build its confidence and a warm kitty to snuggle with.
When I got home, Musette greeted me with happy squeaks and rolled over so I could kiss her belly. Which I did.
