Category Archives: Shopping

Gifts You Can Do Without

The Power Nap Head Pillow

According to the description, this is “ideal for achieving a deep, restful sleep…in a crowded airport.” I’m quite sure people would give you a wide berth, other than the guy making off with all your luggage. I thought the holes in the sides might funnel restful alcholic drinks into your ears, or allow you to plant small trees for a personal supply of oxygen, but it turns out they have a different purpose.

At least no one can draw penises on your face while you’re in this position.

The Celebrity Robotic Avatar

Got an extra $345,000 lying around? Me neither. Favorite line in the description: “LEDs in his mouth light as he talks, giving his speech a more natural quality.” Presumably my non-lighted yap makes me appear stilted. I’m actually very approachable.

The Turkish Shower Wrap

For a mere $49.95, you can discreetly fondle yourself in a public steam room. Pair it with the Power Nap Head Pillow for an unforgettable ensemble.

Getting a new thumb/index finger ring.

$19 and free shipping is a screaming deal. You get your choice of three finishes, two typefaces, and your choice of words, inside and out. Mine will say, “Pull my finger” on the outside, and “Pfft…” on the inside, because I will do anything for a laugh. Well, not anything, but $19 is cheap for a good gag. Click the pic to go to his site.