The Power Nap Head Pillow
According to the description, this is “ideal for achieving a deep, restful sleep…in a crowded airport.” I’m quite sure people would give you a wide berth, other than the guy making off with all your luggage. I thought the holes in the sides might funnel restful alcholic drinks into your ears, or allow you to plant small trees for a personal supply of oxygen, but it turns out they have a different purpose.
At least no one can draw penises on your face while you’re in this position.
The Celebrity Robotic Avatar
Got an extra $345,000 lying around? Me neither. Favorite line in the description: “LEDs in his mouth light as he talks, giving his speech a more natural quality.” Presumably my non-lighted yap makes me appear stilted. I’m actually very approachable.
The Turkish Shower Wrap
For a mere $49.95, you can discreetly fondle yourself in a public steam room. Pair it with the Power Nap Head Pillow for an unforgettable ensemble.
It was Nikki of Obsessive Chihuahua Disorder who pointed out the Swarovski-studded toidy.
Now, this strikes me as inherently unhygienic, but the article mentions that the same maker came up with a chrome toilet, and I love that idea.
I think I’d have to make “vroom noises” while sitting on it.
Now, if your commode budget doesn’t stretch to the tens of thousands, may I suggest this small chrome toilet with a clock in the seat, which is also a business card holder.
I’m trying to think of an appropriate use for this sucker… Reminder card for your gastroenterologist appointment? Sales rep for a hangover cure? Bulemia support group? Help me out here.