Actual things I have said to my dog.

It would be kinder to eat that from the head down. 

You have very poor impulse control.

See? Mommy doesn’t eat her poop.

Wake up and be cute. 

And as a bonus, one from Angel Joe.

You’re kind of prissy for a cat puke and poo eater.

About Esri Allbritten

Esri Allbritten lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband, Angel Joe, her cat, Musette La Plume, and her Chihuahua puppy, Josie O. In addition to sushi, bowling and marimba, Esri enjoys discovering quirky, real-life towns and wreaking fictional havoc in them. She is the author of Chihuahua of the Baskervilles and The Portrait of Doreene Gray (Tripping Magazine mystery series), Jokers & Fools, and (as Esri Rose) Bound to Love Her and Stolen Magic.

Posted on September 18, 2012, in Josie O, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. That´s funny! Hope you like that too:

    A man walks into a bar with his dog. The man says: “I’ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.”

    Bartender: “Yeah! Sure…go ahead.”

    Man: “Whats on top of the house?”

    Dog: “Rooooof!”

    Man: “How does sandpaper feel?”

    Dog: “Rooough!”

    Man: “Who was the greatest baseball player ever?”

    Dog: “Ruuuuth!”

    Man: “See, I told you my dog could talk.”

    The bartender throws both of them out. Sitting on the pavemnt, the dog looks at his owner and says, “or was the greatest player Mantle?”

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