I’ll be your warm-up comedian today…

I have a guest blog post at Must Read Mysteries today. The topic is Death and Comedy, and it ends with one of my favorite jokes. As an appetizer for that, here’s another of my faves.

A guy starts to develop black spots on his penis. Naturally, he’s concerned, so he goes to see a doctor. The doctor takes one look and says, “I’m very sorry, but you have Chinese Black Gonorrhea, and we’re going to have to amputate your penis.”

The guy is stunned. “You’ll understand if I get a second opinion.”

The doctor nods. “Of course, but any other doctor will tell you the same thing.”

So the guy gets a second opinion, and a third, but both of those doctors tell him the same thing. His penis will have to be amputated.

He goes out drinking with his best friend and tells him the news.They sit in glum silence for a while.

Finally his friend says, “They call it Chinese Black Gonorrhea, right?”

“Yeah,” the guy says.

“Then why don’t you go to China and see a doctor there? Maybe they know a treatment that hasn’t made it to the States yet!”

“That’s a great idea!” the guy says.

So he books a plane ticket and visits a well-respected Chinese doctor who speaks English. The Chinese doctor makes a thorough exam, runs some tests, and finally comes back in. “It’s Chinese Black Gonorrhea, all right.”

“So is there any treatment?” the guy asks. “Because in America, all the doctors tell me that I have to have my penis amputated.”

The Chinese doctor breaks into laughter. “Those American doctors! What a bunch of quacks!”

The guy feels hope for the first time. “Are you telling me I don’t have to have my penis amputated?”

“Nah,” the doctor says, waving a hand. “It’ll fall off by itself.”

Thank you, you’ve been a great audience! I hope you enjoy the second act, now appearing at Must Read Mysteries!

About Esri Allbritten

Esri Allbritten lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband, Angel Joe, her cat, Musette La Plume, and her Chihuahua puppy, Josie O. In addition to sushi, bowling and marimba, Esri enjoys discovering quirky, real-life towns and wreaking fictional havoc in them. She is the author of Chihuahua of the Baskervilles and The Portrait of Doreene Gray (Tripping Magazine mystery series), Jokers & Fools, and (as Esri Rose) Bound to Love Her and Stolen Magic.

Posted on March 7, 2012, in Moi and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Great article! I LOVE the lech bouncing out the window! I dang near peed my pants laughing! The twirps all looked at me like “Woah, Mom! What’s up?” Actually makes me want to read comic mysteries now. :)

  2. It was really funny and over the top. Chesney (aka Beaton, aka Tremaine), really runs the gamut between over the top farce and drollery. Basically, she knows that people are flawed and funny, and that’s the reason I like her.

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